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Anak Manja

Anak Manja

bunga ditaman kupetik-petik
semut diranting aku menjerit
dedaun tua kuhiris-hiris
terluka jari aku menangis

aku benar kias anak manja
gaya si kecil sentiasa bersama gula-gula
dimana sahaja inginku ketawa
manis kumakan, pahit tidak kutelan, pedas terus kubuang
bagaimana mahu ke bintang? sedagn matahari lagiku elak
bagaimana ingin jadi kuat? sedang sakit lagiku teriak

anak manja harus bangun dicelah kepayahan
agar gula-gula kekal dalam kemanisan
biar dulu pahit peria aku telan
nanti petang pahit itu hilang,sakit tidak mungkin berterusan.

aku, biar jadi anak manja
biar mereka saksi senyumku dibibir, girang di mata
lirik sayu cuma simpan senyap menjadi harta, dalam kalbu seorang anak manja
ku tahu takkan selamanya ia layu
kerana manis sudah kutemu bila pahit semalam dalam diam aku lalu.


tomyamfan; Anak Manja
Jan 31st, 2013



From Dina with love


My name is Nur Dina Hafiya. I was born on 27th of Ramadhan 1433H. I live with my father and my mother in Kuala Lumpur . I never talk to them even though I really want to. I have many things to let them know.

You know, I might be crying all day long. I wake my mom up in the middle of night. I cause my dad late for work.  I am sorry but I have no will not to. I am a baby.

I do not know how shall I tell that I am hungry. I am not sure how many hours I should be asleep in a day; I don’t even know how day & night differ. I do not know how to stand on my feet and walk to the kitchen for some medicine when my stomach got bloated. What shall I say when I’m cold? And sometimes when I sweat too? I know nothing but crying… because I’m too little to understand myself.

Ayah,ibu..please take care of me. I love you and I’ll make you happy ;)

Hug from Dina~~~ 



Nur Dina Hafiya bt Mohd Ehyauddin

21st Zulhijjah 1433H

2 months and 3 weeks years old.

ears are not always there

Indeed, it comes to point that life often gives us something to deal with. everytime. everyday. every moment. to be in a situation either we like or we do not, there are always stories about it. our mind is judging, our heart considers and our mouth is about to comment on it. without fail we often look for a person to tell those stories..

So there goes a pair of ears. we let the mouth talking to the ears and let them listen to the complaints, compliments, suggestions, thoughts, opinions, yell, laugh.. anything.. the status simply goes like that. when someone is meant to be the ears, there will rise a special trust and dependency in the relationship – the mouth who always has stories to tell & the ears who are never tired listening. but this is life..there are times when the ears are not there. they cant be present anymore for mouth to talk to. there are times when the ears are gone, to somewhere perhaps not so far, but they can no longer listen.

Ears are close to mouth, yet there are times they cant work with each other. when this happens, ask the emotion to stay strong whenever we feel like having something on mind to speak out but no ears are listening..ask the brain to take over the job- to control the emotion.. the ears might be back, perhaps they leave for a while to make a soul stronger, at least not to depend too much on ears so that the sense of independence slowly arises :)


tomyamfan; ears are not always there
July 3rd, 2011


Instead of constantly being a mouth, why not giving ourselves space to be the ears too~

blues of a kampOng girl

This poor kampung girl who first reached Kuala Lumpur to further her studies in an international university had  a seat in her room thinking of what she’s going to do in 2 years time in the big city. she heard of people talking about ice-skating at the Mines.. (sorry,isn’t it at Sunway?) well,  it was what she first heard :p  People talked about how near Genting Highland is from the university.. but this poor girl sat still, knowing not where to go and what to have.

After 2 years, she completed the studies in the international university and she left the uni with mixed feelings. She knew she will miss those things she had gone through in 2 years time – the place, the people, the animals, the cars, the roads, the buildings, the trains, the food, and the memories she created. She left KL and she knew she would miss it for many reasons.

Now this poor girl is at her hometown trying to recall those moments. She did not have much outing with the friends, she didn’t go for food hunting around KL as much as other people did, she missed Matta Fair every year, she never reached ICT at Shah Alam. Most of the time she spent her days in the room. The farthest she managed to go was……….  (she has no idea)

But she remembered the moments and she missed them. those little things that happened to count her days in KL were the things that she missed the most. the highways- which she learned to speed on the road, the toll – which she learned to use Touch N Go, the traffic jam- where she learned to curse, the bumps in UIA- she learned to be patient, the limited parking lot – which she spent hundreds of Ringgit for summons..and… the trains- which she learned to memorize each station :D

This kampong girl loves all those moments. 2 years in KL, particularly in IIUM taught her a lot.

She could still remember few weeks before she finished the semester when she received cards of wedding invitation from the teslmates. It was a great moment knowing the fact that we have grown up.  we’ll be getting married and will soon hold the responsibilities. 5 years back, all were acting like small children stalking and talking randomly about boys. today most of us are moving into being a wife and a mother. how great to witness all these.. it’s just like observing your sisters growing up and now it’s time to let them go and live their own life.. nothing valuable more than having prayer for them all dear sisters :)

On purpose, this kampong girl will continue her journey- a year more to go with the studies. Nothing special about her life yet she’s grateful for she’s surrounded by wonderful people that  make her life vastly great. Thank you people.. thank you for the moment you shared with me and thank you for the lessons you often taught me :)  I’m stepping forward with better hope everyday. thanks! :)



My bestie Fadhilah is the one who helps me most living life in KL. dealing with a kampong girl, she bears with it :)

The s0-called Madame in the gang – Pn. Wanie, she cheers us up with her jokes. that includes all :P




tomyamfan; Blues of a kampOng girl
April,17 2011

Feelings fade..people change?

Drawing an analogy ;-

The grasses grow green after it’s raining the whole morning. the mood is fresh.. the scenery is eye-catching.

When the sun shines too hard in the afternoon, grasses turn yellowish.. the mood swings. the scenery becomes dull.

It changed..the mood, the scenery, the colour.. all changed.

People change too.. they are bound to change even they don’t like the changes. as the cliche says, our perspective changes because it is shaped by experiences and experiences make the reason..

We grow up, we move on.. we learn, we question.. we search,we demand.. we think, we analyse.

Some people think in reaching certain expected aim, one need to deal with time and make changes, or else nothing will show progress..

To some other people, they make changes because they don’t do well with satisfaction. they can’t stop searching what they wish to acquire..  at the end, they lose..they live in regret.

Now, is experience to be blamed? or the feelings that are too vulnerable?..



tomyamfan; feelings fade..people change?
March 1st, 2011

Chaos in Cairo and a Mother’s Heart

I’m sure millions of mothers’ hearts are in state that no one knows how terrible the hearts beat while waiting for the latest update from Cairo. Dear brothers and sisters over there, our pray is with u.. be safe..

Full post via: communicating.across.boundaries

note to heart

Lying on bed for few days brought me to little mouldy thought,yet righteous..

Something’s wrong with heart when you look at people but you dont feel good about them. something goes wrong with heart when you fail to control emotion and you fume with anger while nothing actually goes wrong at the moment. something is not right with heart when you feel like caring about (certain) people, browsing them, you feel like getting updates on what they are recently on, but the moment u get them a glance, you start to harshly swear. something wrong with heart when you refuse to smile in return. something goes even worse with heart when you hurt people in silence, because you  fake honesty. you often blind the truth and you break promises. something goes wrong with heart when you listen to no one but u yourself. when u think no one is right but u. you act like no one can beat you. you feel like you got a big head no one dares to go against u. and the worst thing about heart is when u did bad but u never think you are, and u never seek apologize nor to repent.

Something goes wrong with heart probably because we rarely sit and reflect. we rather get out moving complacently without tolerance.

To hearts, you can only act big if u think you manage to get yourself  into the grave by your own when u just die. otherwise, u do always need people for help. so be nice, treat people well..




tomyamfan; self-reminder : note to heart
nov 27th 2010