Archive for December, 2010

Hopes on a Paper



A palm was hidden in a candy coach

What’s inside was completely not worth to approach

There were just a paper and a piece of wood

They were present to please my mood.


The sound I made was so far from my ear

So low that only papers can hear

It was a dream my pledge promised to keep discreet

I hoped on a paper since world treated me so strict.


I drew a flower on a paper- convinced myself things would be okay

The flower I coloured in yellow slowly started to decay

Was it my fault not to make it pink, or blue?

So that the flower ended up getting true..


Everytime i leave home to survive mud and clay

I ask my hope to always work and stay

Yesterday I hoped on a paper- because reality betrayed me

Today I hope on a paper- because there come belief and certainty.


Get me a pencil and a piece of paper

I’ll draw a smile..a new hope may soon appear~




tomyamfan; Hopes on a Paper
Dec 19th 2010, 3: 35 pm






2010; and few days remaining

Somewhere in the middle of living phase, we wish to go back to childhood. it is where all dreams seem to be true and our fantasies are satisfied. but once we start to grow, the unpleasant truth hits our reality. we feel like rebelling against everyone who criticize our ambitious ideas. we’re dying for dreams we got to sacrifice. and we want to be given support all the time because we know life isn’t a place to stay alone. i  learned that as we get connected to life, we are definitely tied to ups and downs, smile and tears, to jokes and pain.

2010 is another avenue im put to stroll along. throughout my walk, there are times i feel beautiful where i dont mind getting myself in warmth no matter how cold world has been to me. as well there are also times when i need to just fall tears, shout and scream to the sky, or into the pillow because the days dont make me up.

Am I open to solutions? it is great either to find way that i should strive to be independent. i mean not to depend on so many people and things to set me happy. or else, my days would simply be ruined in case of internet stops working, handphone isn’t functioning or friends start betraying. i learned along the way that when things dont go right i shall be able to calm myself down and keep on travelling. i wont let my mind do the thinking about uncertainty so often, because we know well that our mind always makes the situations worse than they actually are. as we come to the reality, we feel relieved for the events are not as bad as we had imagined. see?..

That’s what part of living is about – we’re forever and constantly being presented with situations that challenge us, make us grow, teach us lessons about life. without challenges, life would be slightly dull and we would never grow to become better people. in completing these 365 days, everyday whenever i find my mind wondering, i write down of what i learned, i focus on good, on forgiveness, and understanding. its ok that sometimes im hurt. i rather give way to peace..

2010 almost reaches the end,will 2011 be better? i have no expectation to give, i’ll let  my alphabets jot the events down. even when a mission is completed, another is meant to continue.

1432 H is greeting..whatever good deeds,keep on enhancing. I pray to Allah for longer life in faith. God willing,insyaAllah..


tomyamfan; summarizing 2010
Dec 9th 2010