Archive for November, 2010

note to heart

Lying on bed for few days brought me to little mouldy thought,yet righteous..

Something’s wrong with heart when you look at people but you dont feel good about them. something goes wrong with heart when you fail to control emotion and you fume with anger while nothing actually goes wrong at the moment. something is not right with heart when you feel like caring about (certain) people, browsing them, you feel like getting updates on what they are recently on, but the moment u get them a glance, you start to harshly swear. something wrong with heart when you refuse to smile in return. something goes even worse with heart when you hurt people in silence, because you  fake honesty. you often blind the truth and you break promises. something goes wrong with heart when you listen to no one but u yourself. when u think no one is right but u. you act like no one can beat you. you feel like you got a big head no one dares to go against u. and the worst thing about heart is when u did bad but u never think you are, and u never seek apologize nor to repent.

Something goes wrong with heart probably because we rarely sit and reflect. we rather get out moving complacently without tolerance.

To hearts, you can only act big if u think you manage to get yourself  into the grave by your own when u just die. otherwise, u do always need people for help. so be nice, treat people well..




tomyamfan; self-reminder : note to heart
nov 27th 2010




Love to Forever Share (Vol 2)



(encapsulated specially for a friend who’s just in loss)


.Till now I embrace so much love I get

Till today I talk to myself nothing I shall regret

The emotions I feel right now are something I’ve held deep inside my heart for so very long

I want to believe they are there for a reason and they will develop into something strong.

But you know when sometimes the feeling you adore

is something you should just ignore

Because what you have, others don’t necessarily have their own

Love they built and memories they filled should perhaps be far thrown

So that they don’t fall

The spirit they lose will be boost up to break the wall

They might want to feel the love I feel

Perhaps they might need to make it not so real

They might want to kiss someone we wanna kiss

Perhaps it reminds them of someone they really miss..

I smile for my loves still stay; yet it hurts them to remind of their glum yesterday

The day when someone they love was softly taken away..

I believe love doesn’t need noise to flower one another

It can be in silence to feel together

It’s meant to share and to renew love they lost forever

It isn’t yet an end

I’ll give u hope so you can really mend.



tomyamfan; Love to Forever Share (vol 2)
(words of condolence)
Nov 10th 2010

love to forever share

Everytime i feel like saying out my feelings, i remember those who’re lacking love. I always want to speak my words, to show my feeling of missing home,missing my mom and missing those i miss. yet somehow im stuck there thinking of people whose their love has gone. they have no longer a person to call mom and dad, they have none to call family and they have perhaps lost someone they love in a way that they’re trying hard to retrieve the moments back. unfortunately, they just cant..

Thinking about this, i often end up keeping away my enjoyment and reserve it for any other reason, not to freely express it like no one cares. (there are people who care). there are people who might hurt listening to my wishes about these and those….because they could never get them back. no longer arms to cuddle, or even no longer place to call home.

To the people i surround whose their loved ones have gone, please note that im concerned with the loss. the bad part of myself is that, i just dont know how to express my condolence through speaking. i might not come to you to say sorry but i have softness inside, knowing how u feel and show my respect by not putting u into situation that might hurt u or reminding u of the loss even worse.

My writing isn’t able to bring them back i know. at least i write to release the pain and to share the gloom, if only it works this way.


tomyamfan; Love to Forever Share
(words of condolence)
nov 10th 2010