Am i about to blame the clock for ticking fast? i always put myself (such) at this side when a blend of confusion emerges as a key to keep me down. connected to no revival for quite some time urges me to have this confusion in mind, i dont know..
when you start thinking of your role in filling what you call life on earth there’s such a quick thought appears whether you are presently serving or being served..both works but it keeps twisting to roll your mind,or perhaps others around you as well.
realising the fact that i am a daughter of my parents stops me somewhere in my doings just whenever i am given to understand that no flows would merely follow me if i did nothing to work for it. i shouldnt stop listening to them or proudly dispute their thoughts even when i believe i am growing up independent enough to go against them. same goes to the fact that i am a sister of my brothers and a little sister, a friend of thousands people, and a secret keeper of many living souls. in silence, i somehow ought to cease being expresive the way heart and mind ask me to be. for any reason?..because i am thinking of roles i should play for them, for people i surround.
do not say its annoying to hear such complaints of being others’ for we do not involve in every situation those people are in. currently, being somebody of someone requires me to always reflect upon myself, instead not to show up to people who made mistakes previously. again,the points that count are about completing or being completed, do i serve well? am i served better? do i give; am i given?
still, the thought keeps twisting my mind or perhaps would be forever exagerated.
being in such confusion.. i wish this is not i who’s writing this~ :(