because tomorrow for me is uncertain

Im not sure if i can naturally act according to my age. being 21 this year would not be as it has to be i know. i keep on searching of what people might have in mind whenever they reach 21 instead of getting freedom. i m not seeking for freedom or even to be out of laws, rules, and conditions.. i dont think i need fun and joy anymore,i mean in terms of enjoying teenage life as they do. i dont love that feeling, you know a feeling when i take a deep breath and saying out that i wont join them to do these and these.. i never mean to alienate myself from whom i call friends but situation that i am in now eventually does not support me to grow through life in a way they do.

What i am looking for is to gain as many good things as possible to help me in sailing the journey called LIFE, coz tomorrow for me is uncertain. i cannot freely stop at any port yet i am listening to Lord’s words and orders. as far as He asks me to go on the voyage, i do, and i’ll automatically stop when He asks me to stop.

So am i supposed to bring along all these joy and fun to where im heading to after death? coz Heaven is only promised to those who load up good deeds while living. and i wonder if i did well..for at most time,i forget Him while im laughing.. :(

If i died,publish this on a paper so that people would know my reasons for not joining them fooling around almost every time they ask me to.. sorry..im just a human being full of snooty ideas~~i myself cant really understand…

<<edited>>

Dear all friends, (those who know me since i was a little girl till now)

I love you, never be a time when i do not thank Allah for gifting you to me. i know i have you all my way :)

Thanks~

3 responses to this post.

  1. its ok la t…
    as long as u can take a breath means dat god is still wit u….
    wat ever it is, pliz…….
    never never n once again never give up ok!
    be strong…everything ‘ll be ok…insyaallah…..

  2. Posted by tomyamfan on August 7, 2009 at 21:05

    still i thank u for always be there to understand me. i cant lose all my dear frens..and u too,May.. seriously~ thx!

  3. cos frens r owez wit us..no matter wat..no matter how….frens never leave their frens….not like bf not like other f…….n dats y when u hve me as ur frens……..^_^

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