Anak Manja

Anak Manja

bunga ditaman kupetik-petik
semut diranting aku menjerit
dedaun tua kuhiris-hiris
terluka jari aku menangis

aku benar kias anak manja
gaya si kecil sentiasa bersama gula-gula
dimana sahaja inginku ketawa
manis kumakan, pahit tidak kutelan, pedas terus kubuang
bagaimana mahu ke bintang? sedagn matahari lagiku elak
bagaimana ingin jadi kuat? sedang sakit lagiku teriak

anak manja harus bangun dicelah kepayahan
agar gula-gula kekal dalam kemanisan
biar dulu pahit peria aku telan
nanti petang pahit itu hilang,sakit tidak mungkin berterusan.

aku, biar jadi anak manja
biar mereka saksi senyumku dibibir, girang di mata
lirik sayu cuma simpan senyap menjadi harta, dalam kalbu seorang anak manja
ku tahu takkan selamanya ia layu
kerana manis sudah kutemu bila pahit semalam dalam diam aku lalu.


tomyamfan; Anak Manja
Jan 31st, 2013



From Dina with love


My name is Nur Dina Hafiya. I was born on 27th of Ramadhan 1433H. I live with my father and my mother in Kuala Lumpur . I never talk to them even though I really want to. I have many things to let them know.

You know, I might be crying all day long. I wake my mom up in the middle of night. I cause my dad late for work.  I am sorry but I have no will not to. I am a baby.

I do not know how shall I tell that I am hungry. I am not sure how many hours I should be asleep in a day; I don’t even know how day & night differ. I do not know how to stand on my feet and walk to the kitchen for some medicine when my stomach got bloated. What shall I say when I’m cold? And sometimes when I sweat too? I know nothing but crying… because I’m too little to understand myself.

Ayah,ibu..please take care of me. I love you and I’ll make you happy ;)

Hug from Dina~~~ 



Nur Dina Hafiya bt Mohd Ehyauddin

21st Zulhijjah 1433H

2 months and 3 weeks years old.

They asked me how well a married life goes

It has been about 10  months. i become a wife at the age of 23 and it’s such a quick answer to my prayer i shall say. it’s never a plan to make a move this fast yet this is what is set for me i believe. the story began since i was born and it traveled chapters by chapters with different live events happening apparently to me until it reaches the chapter when i am married – to a man who first showed up as a stranger :p

In any relationship, everyone is convinced with love, promises, care and protection – so that’s what i get too. i’m promised to be loved perfectly, to be taken care enough and to be protected every minute of life.  but to simply accept promises is not an easy doing indeed. there shall always be doubts here or somewhere in heart because we don’t wish to get hurt silently. that’s why i always had conversation with myself (before marriage) asking how im gonna survive living as a wife bringing about my imperfections. i was too worried.

Gladly, today i find marriage is not a place to condemn  imperfection. rather it pushes you to show what you’re weak at so that the imperfection helps you to be you. everyday without realising i present a weak part of me,my imperfections,my weaknesses – that’s how i move day by day going through d marriage. it isn’t a problem, it’s a process..

“We shall not make things complicated”, my hubs once said.  There i learn that marriage is a special space to know our spouse better because each day brings new thing for both to know each other. that’s the way love grows. as long we fulfill the obligations and sincerity is put at the first place, no way you will find marriage a mistake, nor a burden. Instead, it’s a BIG blessing that you’ll have no words to thank Allah more, for that :)


For dearest hub:-

cintaku buatmu kuukir tanpa ragu
senyumku moga jd pngubatmu
cantikku buat tatapanmu
jelikku jd ujian buatmu
lemahku ditampung oleh kuatnya imanmu
lembutku moga mghalusi jiwamu
segarku utk menyegarkanmu
sakitku diubati oleh lembut tuturmu
bila cinta benar2 kuhayati
kutemui dirimu pengubat sepi 
kerana cintaku buatmu bukan sekadar di dunia
kubawa cinta ini moga smpai ke pintu syurga..


– tomyamfan, 2012©

Meniti Kedewasaan

Meniti Kedewasaan


Cepat benar kaki melangkah

berjalan menuju di mana saja adanya arah

lantas berpaut pada tiang bila lutut mulai lemah

landai sejenak, akur pada perjalanan agak payah.


Titian di hadapan tidak sedikitpun retak  untuk diseberangi

tiada sedikit cela untuk diharungi

cuma tercalit sekelumit cereka di atasnya

agar penunggang berhenti seketika, membaca

agar peneroka sedar akan hadirnya suatu cerita

dalam setiap langkah titian.. menuju di mana katanya ada desa.


Setiap cereka yang terselit indah antara mata dan bibir

pasti runtun jadi titisan air atau senyuman manis yang terukir

biarkan saja ia

andai di situ jadi tempat terselitnya impi rahsia

dalam meniti titian dewasa

kita belajar kepayahan itu adalah sebuah cerita

kesenangan itu kadang-kadang tidak bisa diteka wujudnya bila.


Titian dewasa ini tebal helaiannya

banyak benar cerekanya

diolahnya pelbagai duka, diselitnya canda gelak tawa

perlahan-lahan ia mengajar kita

tawa itu bukan semata untuk jenaka

keluh itu bukan sekadar bagi yang berduka.


Seperjalanan meniti titian ini

bukan usia menterjemah dewasa

bukan uratan di muka katakan ia tua

namun bila adanya ribut melanda, lantas kita jadi dewasa..



tomyamfan; Meniti Kedewasaan
June 17th, 2012

ears are not always there

Indeed, it comes to point that life often gives us something to deal with. everytime. everyday. every moment. to be in a situation either we like or we do not, there are always stories about it. our mind is judging, our heart considers and our mouth is about to comment on it. without fail we often look for a person to tell those stories..

So there goes a pair of ears. we let the mouth talking to the ears and let them listen to the complaints, compliments, suggestions, thoughts, opinions, yell, laugh.. anything.. the status simply goes like that. when someone is meant to be the ears, there will rise a special trust and dependency in the relationship – the mouth who always has stories to tell & the ears who are never tired listening. but this is life..there are times when the ears are not there. they cant be present anymore for mouth to talk to. there are times when the ears are gone, to somewhere perhaps not so far, but they can no longer listen.

Ears are close to mouth, yet there are times they cant work with each other. when this happens, ask the emotion to stay strong whenever we feel like having something on mind to speak out but no ears are listening..ask the brain to take over the job- to control the emotion.. the ears might be back, perhaps they leave for a while to make a soul stronger, at least not to depend too much on ears so that the sense of independence slowly arises :)


tomyamfan; ears are not always there
July 3rd, 2011


Instead of constantly being a mouth, why not giving ourselves space to be the ears too~

Before You Learn to Give

If you determine to grow a flower in your soul

Have  patience in your hand and move

If the ground is hard as they put rocks in

You fluff it up and keep digging.


Before you carve out a place to reach in

You know which path is blasted to be the obstacles

When the parrot lies weak by the side of the road

You take off your shirt and give it a blanket.


Before you can feel the pleasure under a shady tree

You travel along the pathway

and lead your soul to the flow

When you see the orchids are withered

You get your drinking water and have them wet.


Till you reach your destination

and you thought you’re too wimpy to survive

You remember the parrot and the orchids who still do

because you gave them hope to live while they defy

You kept the souls living by what you have..

…so you understand before you learn to give, you learn to sacrifice.



tomyamfan; Before You Learn to Give
June 30, 2011

blues of a kampOng girl

This poor kampung girl who first reached Kuala Lumpur to further her studies in an international university had  a seat in her room thinking of what she’s going to do in 2 years time in the big city. she heard of people talking about ice-skating at the Mines.. (sorry,isn’t it at Sunway?) well,  it was what she first heard :p  People talked about how near Genting Highland is from the university.. but this poor girl sat still, knowing not where to go and what to have.

After 2 years, she completed the studies in the international university and she left the uni with mixed feelings. She knew she will miss those things she had gone through in 2 years time – the place, the people, the animals, the cars, the roads, the buildings, the trains, the food, and the memories she created. She left KL and she knew she would miss it for many reasons.

Now this poor girl is at her hometown trying to recall those moments. She did not have much outing with the friends, she didn’t go for food hunting around KL as much as other people did, she missed Matta Fair every year, she never reached ICT at Shah Alam. Most of the time she spent her days in the room. The farthest she managed to go was……….  (she has no idea)

But she remembered the moments and she missed them. those little things that happened to count her days in KL were the things that she missed the most. the highways- which she learned to speed on the road, the toll – which she learned to use Touch N Go, the traffic jam- where she learned to curse, the bumps in UIA- she learned to be patient, the limited parking lot – which she spent hundreds of Ringgit for summons..and… the trains- which she learned to memorize each station :D

This kampong girl loves all those moments. 2 years in KL, particularly in IIUM taught her a lot.

She could still remember few weeks before she finished the semester when she received cards of wedding invitation from the teslmates. It was a great moment knowing the fact that we have grown up.  we’ll be getting married and will soon hold the responsibilities. 5 years back, all were acting like small children stalking and talking randomly about boys. today most of us are moving into being a wife and a mother. how great to witness all these.. it’s just like observing your sisters growing up and now it’s time to let them go and live their own life.. nothing valuable more than having prayer for them all dear sisters :)

On purpose, this kampong girl will continue her journey- a year more to go with the studies. Nothing special about her life yet she’s grateful for she’s surrounded by wonderful people that  make her life vastly great. Thank you people.. thank you for the moment you shared with me and thank you for the lessons you often taught me :)  I’m stepping forward with better hope everyday. thanks! :)



My bestie Fadhilah is the one who helps me most living life in KL. dealing with a kampong girl, she bears with it :)

The s0-called Madame in the gang – Pn. Wanie, she cheers us up with her jokes. that includes all :P




tomyamfan; Blues of a kampOng girl
April,17 2011